Post by Myra Salzer
I’ll continue my series of blogs covering the common mistakes surrounding transferring wealth with Mistake #8, Restricting Rather Than Maximizing Freedom. If you have not already done so, I invite you to read Mistake #1, Mistake #2, Mistake #3, Mistake #4, Mistake #5, Mistake #6, Mistake #7, Mistake #8, and Mistake #9.
Mistake #10 – Beneficiaries Avoiding The Difficult Conversation
It’s often difficult for wealth holders to give a beneficiary control of assets. How do they start? When is the right time? Sometimes, it’s the beneficiary who must pull up his big-boy pants/her big-girl pants and start the conversation. From the beneficiary’s perspective, there’s a fear of appearing greedy. You needn’t worry. It probably won’t be taken in that context. If you as a beneficiary can just give your parents/grandparents the space where they have permission to explore what they want to see done with their wealth, it’s highly likely the result will be a deeply enriching and enlightening conversation.
Here are some of the questions a beneficiary can ask:
- If your gift was successful, how would it look?
- What’s important to you?
- What’s your vision for your legacy?
- What things could I do that would disappoint you?
After asking any, or all, of these questions, sit quietly even if there is silence for a while. It might take a good while, actually. The answer to some of these questions may never have even been considered by the wealth holder before. If the first time you bring up the topic does not result in an answer, don’t worry about. Give it time. Bring it up again in a few months, always with a tone of caring and a genuine desire to be of help.