Inherited Wealth, Inherited Wounds: Healing from the Trauma of Legacy

When asked what The Wealth Conservancy is all about, our reply is that we guide our clients to navigate the trauma of inheritance. I bristle when someone responds with, “I wish I had that problem!” though I can understand where they’re coming from. Most of us see the advent of an inheritance as a solution to a lot of problems and traumas of a different nature. Our clients, however, have received financial resources without training or preparation, often as a result of someone’s death or a divorce.

So where does the trauma come in?  Mind.org.uk defines trauma as follows:

Trauma is when we experience very stressful, frightening or distressing events that are difficult to cope with or out of our control. It could be one incident, or an ongoing event that happens over a long period of time.

Much of a person‘s life trauma has evolved from unmet needs as a child. It is not unusual for families with significant financial resources to delegate the responsibility of raising a child. This often takes the form of the child being raised by nannies or being sent off to boarding schools. The child’s unmet need for love and connection can manifest as trauma for the rest of their life. Then, when they do inherit, they associate the financial resources with their childhood unmet needs and the money becomes toxic.

Divorcees and widows experience similar traumas, though later in life. The divorce or death is traumatic, in and of itself, and when coupled with the responsibility of managing, maintaining, understanding, and taking responsibility for the management of financial assets, the stress can become overwhelming.

At TWC, planners and coaches are wealth counselors, not therapists. We coordinate with all our clients’ advisors, including their tax planners, attorneys, Family Office, insurance advisors, and philanthropic advisors. We’re experts at identifying what’s there, what’s missing, and what needs to be done to protect our clients and their resources. We do this with an understanding of the emotional impact our clients are going through, and can guide them through the process with empathy, while coaching them to flourish.