Where did your family wealth begin? Your wealth has a story, a set of intentions and hopes, and a past as much as a future. It is important to find out how your wealth got its start, how it grew, and how you’re connected to the people who have held it before you. That story is not always pretty, and unearthing the tale behind it can be, like country singer Randy Travis sings, “diggin’ up bones.”
If we trace the story of where your money was initially earned and how it has changed hands over time, we can then start filling in the details of whether it showed up on your doorstep with any baggage. In composing your current story, it’s a good idea to inventory the baggage you’re already packing. Baggage can be emotional, legal, or moral, and fraught with dilemmas. For example, a tobacco fortune falling into the hands of a young inheritor whose parents died of lung cancer: that’s a heavy load to bear.
Many inheritors run from the source and meaning of their wealth because shepherding it is too daunting of a task. Other families are mired in lawsuits over disputed fortunes. Inheritance can be a complex and messy piece of your story – but it does not have to have a sad ending. You can make it a happily ever after!
The way a family deals with – and communicates about – its wealth is ingrained in the culture, the very fabric of the family. What role do you play in this family dynamic? What character are you in this story? Understanding the part you play in your family story is important to making peace with your inheritance.
Diggin’ up bones and uncovering your family’s story might be painful, but clearing out that baggage and dropping that burden can open up many doors for you. On the flip side, more often than not, you may develop a sense of pride and power as you peel back the layers of your family’s story.
Choose your heroes and pick your battles. Take charge of your story. It’s your wealth now.
(Adapted from Living Richly: Seizing the Potential of Inherited Wealth, by Myra Salzer.)