Post by Myra Salzer.
Lately, I’ve embarked on a de-cluttering journey. It started when I first heard about Marie Kondo’s The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up. At the time of this writing I’m not even halfway through the book yet my closets are already substantially less cluttered. Marie Kondo is a Japanese organizer. Her book has been translated into English and has enjoyed rave reviews in The States ever since.
I have found it incredibly cleansing to get rid of things that, in Marie Kondo’s words, don’t bring joy. How fun it’s been to look at every item in my closet and give myself permission to let go of it if it doesn’t bring me joy! So far, I have not followed her process as prescribed. For example, I have not emptied my closet and put all the items in the middle of a room before deciding which to keep, and only then putting it back on its shelf/drawer/hanger. I have also not adopted her method of folding, nor will I. But I have gone along the path of de-cluttering in a profoundly healing way; not that I was sick or broken, but I now realize that many of the things I own are no longer bringing joy. And that’s the key for me: NO LONGER. I had the good fortune of having these items bring joy when I got them (albeit sometimes fleeting).
I realize part of the shift in me is a result of no longer being in the “accumulation” phase of life. I have plenty of stuff! Good stuff, junkie stuff, stuff that was given to me (I still have some of our wedding gifts from 40 years ago.) that is supposed to have both/either sentimental or financial value. I was holding on to items just in case, because you never know, because so-and-so gave it to me and I want them to see it in my house when they come over (even though they haven’t been to our house in 10 years and probably forgot they gave it to me in the first place), because I might gain weight and need those larger sizes, or I might lose weight and need those smaller items (I’ve been the same weight for the last 30 years!), or they might come back into style, or the girls might want it when I die, or I might want to read it again, or I might want to give it to my nieces when they’re older, or, or, or, or…
No more!
Which made me think about how important that “accumulation” phase of life is: the time when one builds the foundation for the future, a house and furnishings, and turns it into a home and family that reflects who they are. For the most part, that which I have was obtained as a result of Vince, my husband, and my efforts. It was a rewarding and vital phase, and it made me wonder about many of my clients – and inheritors in general. It seems that many don’t get to experience that oh-so-important accumulation phase of life. Many inherited a collection of houses and artworks and China and silver and jewelry that reflects the tastes of their parents and grandparents, not themselves. It’s possible that they never had the chance to experience the joy Kondo talks about, because it was never their choice to choose the items in the first place. How then, I wonder, can they tidy up without feeling like they are abandoning their heritage? How can they assess whether the joy is there if they’ve never experienced the joy to begin with?