Review by Myra Salzer
It’s been, maybe, 10 years now since I first saw Nancy Kline’s book, More Time To Think and encountered a pivotal shift in how I communicate. More Time To Think is actually the second book in Kline’s series about the “Thinking Environment.” To be honest, when I first picked up the book, I thought, “Oh boy, I can learn to be more contemplative. My meditations will be more productive.”
Wrong!
As it turned out, it wasn’t about me (I read it anyway) but rather about how to be a thinking partner and give someone else, the thinker, space and time to think for themselves. It was about developing a tool set for enabling others to do their best thinking. I was so intrigued by the concept, I sought out the author, who lives in England, and I actually traveled there four times to take classes from her and learn the technique. She taught classes on thinking partnerships, one on one.
The idea is for the thinking partner to ask the right questions of the thinker so the thinker can lead himself or herself to the answer/conclusion that is right for him or her. It’s not therapy, and it’s not guidance, and it’s not advising. The premise is that the only expert on someone else is that someone else. If a person is facing a challenge, hardship, a dilemma, or a conflict, s/he understands the situation better, more profoundly, and more thoroughly than anyone else. The thinking partner’s job is to empower the thinker to look at the situation from multiple perspectives that s/he may not have considered if s/he had been led through a thinking session with a thinking partner. When the thinker develops his or her own solution, it’s more profound because it’s his or her OWN solution. He or she owns it!
Years after taking the classes, I’m still practicing the technique with one of my Irish classmates via Zoom. We trade off being the thinker and the thinking partner. It’s a connection I hold dear.
I decided I should expand my Time-To-Think skills beyond thinking partnerships. I’d like to be able to use the technique in group situations. So, I took a Foundations class in San Francisco last year from a certified T T T instructor, in the hopes of being able to take a facilitation course from her later this calendar year.
So, it sounds like this Blog post is all about me coming full circle. It’s true! It is all about me because there is an enormously gratifying feeling I get every time I’m a thinking partner for someone.
If anyone is curious about this technique and wants to hear more, I invite you to reach out to me at 303.444.1919 or myra@TWCinc.org.