Our social lives have gone through a whirlwind of changes during the last year and a half. We have begun the process of integrating ourselves back into a world where we approach one another face-to-face and spark conversation with strangers. We might be meeting new people for the first time, and that leads to the usual icebreaker question: “What do you do?”
As an inheritor, this question can be off-putting. If you’ve inherited your money, you might not hold a typical job, or may still be on the path to discovering your passion in life. How do you explain your lifestyle to someone, without delving into your finances? Should you deflect to steer the conversation away from that topic? What if you become friends with this person, and the topic of your career comes up again down the road? The situation where the question is presented matters greatly. You’re likely to answer this question differently if you’re speaking to a friend, versus someone you just met.
This seemingly harmless question can pose many difficulties for an inheritor, so how does one handle this conversation?
Option one: Answer the question with a question.
“Do you mean what do I like to do for fun?”
This can be an easy way to direct the conversation into your enjoyments and pleasures outside of work. Instead of going back and forth on the topic of work, you can discuss your activities that bring you joy in your personal life. This brings playfulness into the conversation, and you will likely end up going on a tangent into each of your favorite hobbies.
“What DON’T I do?”
This is another opportunity to discuss the many aspects of your life that do not directly involve work. You can discuss your responsibilities as a friend, parent, loved one, or managing your own personal life. There are many different components of life that we must deal with and master to create ourselves, and this can be an opportunity to discuss those.
Option two: Be honest.
In this scenario, you can be as open and honest as you’d like. If you’re speaking with a friend, you may want to tell them that you are financially comfortable such that you’re able to take time to focus on your interests and what best serves you. You don’t need to go into extreme detail about how you ended up in this situation, unless you feel comfortable sharing that information with this person. Odds are, they will be more interested in the projects you’re taking on, and want to hear more about that.
If you’re speaking with someone you don’t know that well, just tell them that you’re still finding your path in life. This option allows you to discuss the areas that interest you and where you’d like to focus your attention, without specifically stating anything else. By telling this person that you’re still unsure or rebalancing what matters most to you, they may see you as being in a transition state of your life, and they won’t press about your current situation as that might be intrusive.
Option three: Fib a little.
It’s natural that this question is asked by complete strangers to spark conversation or minimize the awkward silence. Perhaps you could use this opportunity to give a boring, unenthusiastic answer that will stop the inquiry into your life and allow you to take the reins by asking what they do. It’s likely that if you give an answer without many details, or one that isn’t too exciting, they will not press any further and allow the conversation to be steered in another direction that is more thrilling.
Whatever option you take, follow your gut instinct. These conversations generally only happen when first meeting someone. After that, you have many other topics to discuss, and you start to understand one another on a more personal level. After a year-and-a-half of staying home, socially distancing, and keeping interactions to a minimum, it’s going to be difficult getting back into the swing of social situations. We must remember that some people are still going to want their space, while others – likely extroverts – will be bursting at the seams to socialize and chat your ears off. Stay safe, and enjoy the conversations!