What are some things that annoy you? Are you thinking of advertisements interrupting your podcast? How about a traffic jam at 5:00pm on Friday? Waiting in line for your morning coffee?
We could all stand to have a little more patience in this busy world. The ability to remain calm in the face of irritation is easier said than done, it seems, but it comes with huge upside. You’re not only rewarded with a clear mind; there are health benefits associated with calmness.
Can you train yourself to become a more patient person? Yes. Patience as a personality trait is modifiable. Even if you’re not a particularly patient person today, there’s still hope you can be a more patient person tomorrow.
Let’s discuss some ways to keep your composure in the face of annoyance:
Identify Your Triggers
When you’re presented with a situation that invokes your inner fighter, remember that you might be overreacting. Although the situation may be irritating, you should be aware that it will not last, and you will be able to move on. In fact, blame your brain. “Amygdalae are the culprit. This almond-shaped set of nervous tissue in our brains is responsible for sussing out threats and regulating emotions.” Once you can understand which situations trigger your impatience, you’re on your way to taking back control – from yourself.
Interrupt Your Impatience
Once you start to become impatient, ask yourself if it’s truly necessary. Say you’re waiting in a long line and begin to grow restless; remind yourself that you’re not in a hurry and you can wait. By interrupting the stress response cycle, you’re shutting off your feelings of annoyance. This process allows you to step back from the situation and evaluate what’s really happening in this moment. If you think about the worst thing that’ll happen by waiting another five minutes in line, you’re likely to laugh at how silly it would be to get upset about.
Reframe the Experience
Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Instead of dwelling on a frustrating experience, think about when you have been the cause of other’s frustration. You might realize that it was unintentional and wish that others had showed you some sympathy. The technical term would be cognitive reappraisal, which means thinking about a situation in a different way. If you allow yourself to think of the “big picture,” will this experience make a difference in your life? If not, then it’s something that you should aim to brush off.
Consider Lifestyle Changes
What is the best way to beat stress? Find some activities that allow you to de-stress. If you hate waiting around, bring something with you that will occupy that time – a book, a game, something to listen to, or a project to work on. Call a member of your family or a friend while you’re waiting in stand-still traffic. Engage in meditation or yoga to learn how to practice the art of gratitude and letting the little things go.
Finally, Be Realistic
Be more sensible about how you’ll achieve these goals and move towards becoming a less-triggered person. Remember there is only so much time in one day. You’ll need to practice becoming more patient, something that requires a little patience in itself. Don’t let an inconvenience throw you off-track; allow yourself to understand the bumps and swerve around them. In time, you’ll begin to see how you’ve grown and become someone who can adapt him/herself to situations outside of your control. Waiting in line for an extra 5 minutes? That’s nothing anymore – you could easily do it for 10!